On compensating...

On compensating …

When asked at the age of six how her husband would be, Alice answered: Handsome and very rich. At fifteen, she said she wanted him to be also successful, intelligent, funny and with a good taste. At 24, she normally said: I already found him. When Elektra was asked the same question at the age of five she answered: Do I have to have one? At 24, her answer was still the same.
Truth is, if true love is supposed to be unconditional, why do we demand so much? Is “the one” a reflection of what we want but couldn’t manage to be? When we pick someone to be our special one, what are we trying to compensate?
Tom was a frustrated musician. He had actually played the violin when he was a teenager, but always lacked that special something that made musicians. That wouldn’t stop him from going inside every music store or collecting rare instruments. That particular Saturday morning was a pretty cloudy one and he dragged Elektra to this antique shop he had seen. Elektra enjoyed antique stores. As a true artist herself, she never gave up the hope of finding something really old and wonderful inside an old teapot or a rare book. Maybe a love letter lost for a couple hundred years could restore her faith in love itself.
While she busied herself with some old pictures in the entrance, Tom caught himself alone in the back of the store with a magnificent cello. A nice “strad” replica that would probably cost a little fortune or… Turn out to be a real bargain.
- That’s a very nice piece.
He turned around and a young woman was staring at him with an intense gaze. She had dark long hair that went down to her waist in curls. She smiled again and asked:
- Do you play?
- No. I just admire. – Tom answered truthfully.
- May I? – She came closer and he jumped out of the way.
- Of course.
The woman sat on an old box and took a few seconds trying to tune the cello, but after what seemed like a minute she slid the bow against the strings and played some Bach piece. Tom just stared amazed. “That’s it. I found her.” – He thought to himself. It took him a few minutes to realize that Elektra and the shop’s owner were both standing behind him watching too.
- Wow, that was really something!
- Thanks. – The girl smiled shyly and Elektra managed to turn her giggle into a cough and look away.

Half and hour later she ended up leaving the store alone because Tom and the girl went out to the nearby Starbucks for a cappuccino. Elektra didn’t mind, quite the opposite, she had a promising date later on, so now she would have time to meet Alice for some shopping and scheming before that. They met at Zara and bought some sexy lingerie Elektra thought the guy might actually see. If… He didn’t turn out to be a loser.
The problem with Elektra according to her own explanation was she only attracted two types of guys. The weak guys who would become desperately attracted to her confidence and independence and the tough ones who would try to compete to see who was the most hardcore in the relationship. Both types eventually ran away from her too scared to be with a woman with more balls than them. Either that or she would get bored with their lack/excess of backbone and dump them.

The next morning, Alice looked at her watch and as she raised her head she saw Elektra coming to their table. Tom was beaming over a cup of coffee and as soon as his friend sat down he announced:
- I found her.
Elektra raised one eyebrow in warning. She was pissed at something. Tom moved on without realizing it:
- She’s perfect. Beautiful, talented, funny… And absolutely great in be…
- Good for you. – She cut him while waving to the waiter.
Alice bit it.
- So, how was the date Ellie?
- Same old.
- Meaning?
- Guy was a loser, what else is there to say? He spent the whole time saying how impressed he was that I called him, that I was so smart, that I could speak so many languages… God, I know enough about me already!
- Your problem is…
- My problem is that most men think of me as a trophy. Look at all she can do! She’s with me! Yuck. – She was in a particularly bitter mood.
- That might come as a shock to you, but some people actually like to compliment others, admire them so they will feel appreciated. – I spoke for the first time.
- I love that my boyfriend is so confident. I feel safe with him. I tell him so all the time.
Elektra gestured towards Alice as if to prove her point.
- So, nothing attracts you in a man? – Tom asked.
- Not really. He’s got to be man enough to take me, that’s all.
We all stared at her nonplussed and the argument sort of ended. I couldn’t help but wonder if we were all looking for our frustrated dreams in our partners. Maybe Tom’s passion for the musician would never happen if she were a regular girl, and if Alice were a little stronger, she would be dating someone else. Maybe even following Elektra’s example, stand alone. Maybe we were really compensating our desires by dating people, did this made us losers? I couldn’t help but feel that in spite of all her independence talk, maybe Elektra wished she was a little less accomplished. Maybe then, she would actually be able to admit she wasn’t all mighty, powerful and self reliant and actually admire someone. And who knows? Maybe even…Fall in love.